Let's Ask Irene

Fishes Are Delicious

Dear Irene: I love my Persian kitty, Princess, but my mom got really mad when she ate one of the goldfish. I just got home from school and now the other goldfish is gone. Mom's going to be really mad. What can I do? —Floundering Around

Dear Staff Member: Run to the aquarium store and buy another fish, quick! They're really cheap and there's no way your mom will notice. —Irene

The Problem Boyfriend

Dear Irene: My boyfriend and the kitty just don't get along. When he stays over, he wakes up with scratches all over his Tender Vittles. What's a mother to do? —At Wit's End

Dear Staff Member: Can the boyfriend sleep on the porch? —Irene

The Meal that Keeps Itself Fresh

Dear Irene: Sometimes when I’m playing with my cat, she literally bites the hand that feeds her. Owie! She also tears up the inside of my wrist with her hind feet. What’s up with that? —Tasty

Dear Staff Member: To the cat, anything that moves under its own power is potential prey. She’s showing you how she’d have your guts out with her hind claws if you were a bit closer in size. Before that, though? She’s checking to see how you taste.

Apparently you taste like tuna. Be honored. —Irene

Wicked Sitter

Dear Irene: I'm cat sitting for my boyfriend. He brought it over in one of those nylon cat-carriers which is roomy enough for a food dish and mini-sandbox. But now Ripper is yowling and scratching at the screens. I don't want to let him out because of my fur allergy. What should I do? —Sneezing Sitter

Dear Staff Member: Let the cat out of the bag. —Irene